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Sleepless Nights
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TOPIC: Sleepless Nights

Sleepless Nights 12 years, 6 months ago #49

  • Kim
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PONDERISMS

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes
out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come
to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, \"I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?\"

Who was the first person to say, \"See that chicken there? I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt.\"

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?



NEMESIS - goddess of indignation against and retribution for, evil deeds. Apparently regarded as an avenging or punishing divinity - I wish.

Re:Sleepless Nights 12 years, 6 months ago #58

[b][i]Thanks for putting a in my face, Kim. This is really good stuff for sleepless nights. That is if you don't have the nothern light to look at
I have been surfing the net so much, that my mousehand is very bad. I should have had a new one with a rolling ball on.
NL
Nothern Light

Re:Sleepless Nights 12 years, 5 months ago #60

  • Kim
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Got one
Anyone had a kitchen refit without problems?
Having a nightmare!
Washing Machine, Dryer, Fridge, Freezer, all works, all new, but dishwasher, old, won't!!
Graham told me maybe a cold water feed problem.
Kimi lost today! Last Lap, bad news for me.
Going to be a Great Grandma for Christmas, even more bad news!!
Bye for now
Kim
I am too young
NEMESIS - goddess of indignation against and retribution for, evil deeds. Apparently regarded as an avenging or punishing divinity - I wish.

Re:Sleepless Nights 12 years, 5 months ago #63

My washing mashine broke down a while ago, and I couldn't afford a new one. I had to go and use my mum's down the road for several weeks. My mum felt sorry for me I guess and bought me a new one. Mothers are a great gift sometimes but also a pain in the ... other times (referring to my daughter)
Congrat with your family extention news, you don't get any older because of that
It's just a bad title for a lady
NL
Nothern Light

Re:Sleepless Nights 12 years, 5 months ago #64

  • Kim
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That was why my washing machine wore out in the first place! My kitchen felt like a commercial laundry at times.
Dishwasher fine. The plumber had turned off the wrong stop tap. Not funny, as I spent all yesterday hand washing things at the sink. I had forgotten what is was like
No it is not alright about an extended family. I warned them all if they make me a G,G, Ma before I was 60, I would cut them out of my will
My own mother was called GMa after the Giles cartoons grandmother. Don't know what I will be called - I am Nan or Nanny at the moment - I suppose I could be Super Nan!
The French Open is so boring but have to watch to remind me who is up and coming for Wimbledon.
NEMESIS - goddess of indignation against and retribution for, evil deeds. Apparently regarded as an avenging or punishing divinity - I wish.
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